In this series, I meet extraordinary Australians...
This is what I do. This is who I am.
It's so exciting to be here.
(BOTH LAUGH)
..who tell me their fascinating stories...
It was like someone had just given me gold.
..while I paint their portrait.
Like, I'd sleep with my bat as a kid.
My challenge is to capture their character...
That's not what you've got the power of the microphone to do.
..and put it on the canvas.
I was born this colour for a reason.
The portrait is theirs to keep, so I want them to like it.
Oh, my God! Heavens above.
Oh, my God! Wow!
Yeah! That's incredible!
Wow! Oh, my God.
She's hot! (LAUGHS)
Welcome to Anh's Brush With Fame.
Kylie Kwong is one of Australia's favourite chefs.
She discovered a passion for cooking at her mother's side,
mastering the trade in some of Sydney's top restaurants
before launching Billy Kwong in 2000.
Her sustainable approach to business and produce
has put a unique signature on modern Australian cuisine.
My grandfather used to make these.
Where does Kylie get her creative flair
and her social conscience?
I'm feeling really excited about today.
I feel incredibly honoured and privileged to be here
because I hold nothing but the most incredible respect
and admiration for Anh.
I also feel a kind of innate connection with him
because I love the way he loves his mother
and the way he looks after his mother.
Kylie is a true innovator in the kitchen and in business.
She's focused and driven as successful people often are,
but she also has a deep commitment to kindness.
She seems to have an inner happiness.
I want to capture that, and her distinct oriental features.
Hello, Kylie. Hi, how are you?
Lovely to meet you. So happy to have you on the show.
Thank you. Take a seat.
We, uh... we've got a lot to talk about.
We certainly do. (LAUGHS)
Your mum is one of nine. Yes.
And your father one of 10? Yes.
Wow. Just... what a family gathering is like.
I know. Well, every Christmas Day, it's just Mum's side
because a lot of Dad's side live in Melbourne.
Every Christmas Day, just with Mum's side, there is like over 70 of us.
(LAUGHS)
And it's actually so gorgeous
and half of the 70 are children and babies.
I mean, my family are breeders.
We're breeders and feeders, that's what I say to people.
And tell me about in your childhood, some of your friends
loved to come over for dinner
'cause your mum would make such beautiful meals.
Yes, we were the only Asians in our neighbourhood,
which was North Epping.
For the first 13 years of our life,
we never really encountered racism because of Mum's cooking,
because of Mrs Kwong's beautiful cooking.
Your mum taught you how to cook?
My mum taught my two brothers and I how to cook
from... you know, from the moment we could stand up.
One of the first dishes I was allowed to cook by myself,
I think I was about seven because I was just kind of high enough
to reach the electric wok on the bench.
And Mum and Dad were at work, I was the youngest and the only girl
and Mum's mother, my por por, used to live with us.
And Por Por looked after me.
So, I made fried rice
and I remembered how Mum made the fried rice.
I think I was a bit kind of uptight and nervous
because Por Por was getting agitated downstairs.
And I promptly burnt the fried rice.
From watching her mum cook
to preparing her first fried rice for her grandmother.
Kylie's food journey had begun. Cooking was in the family blood.
Your mum's dad, your grandfather,
had a fish and chip shop in Sydney's south.
He did, he had a fish and chip shop in Allawah.
And Mum tells me these gorgeous, endearing family stories
of when she was, you know, about this high.
She said she remembers being in her parents' fish shop
and tugging at her mother's apron strings under the counter
because she just wanted food,
you know, and these little hands would come up
while the customers were there.
But lots of lovely, endearing stories.
They had a very kind of modest upbringing,
but a family life filled with lots of love and lots of beautiful food.
So, your grandfather is supporting nine children...
Yes. ..with his little fish and chip shop?
Little fish and chip shop.
He also grew his own, you know, Chinese vegetables
in the home garden. Mmm.
My great grandfather, Kwong Suda,
brought our family name to Australia in the late 1800s.
And he came from mainland China.
He was perhaps in his mid 20s.
So, a young man in search of new opportunities.
And he arrived in Palmerston,
which was what Darwin used to be called back then.
And over the next kind of 10 years of his life,
he travelled between Australia and mainland China,
and kind of during that 10 years, he would acquire various wives.
So, ultimately, he had four Chinese wives
and together they had produced 24 children,
which is where I come from.
I mean, how lucky were those 24 children? They had four mummies.
Can you imagine how amazing that would be?
And apparently, they all lived under the same roof.
Second wife taught the children how to cook Chinese.
Third wife taught the children, you know, sewing skills
and she also taught them how to sing Chinese opera and so on.
So, a really kind of beautiful feeling of community and support.
When he arrived in the gold rush days,
he ended up having four gold mining leases up in Palmerstone,
he had a general store,
and he also was a traditional Chinese medicine man and herbalist.
So, obviously entrepreneurial, obviously very brave and courageous
to leave the family ancestral village in his mid 20s
in search of new opportunity.
Fascinated with her family's rich history,
in 2007, Kylie travelled to her ancestral village
in the Toishan Province of China.
I was the first Kwong relative to return in 90 years.
Wow.
And, of course, what did we do? We cooked together.
You know, we went to the local market. That's what we always do.
I couldn't speak their language
and they certainly couldn't speak English.
However, as all Asians do and ethnic people do,
we connected over the food. Yeah, yeah.
So, we went to the local market, I just bought everything
because I get excited around fresh food.
And my new-found uncle created this amazing...
like, the best wok I've ever cooked on.
This huge big wok on this open fire.
Yep. And away we went.
Was it emotional for you to go back there?
Of course, it was very, very emotional.
So, it was an absolutely life-changing moment for me.
I returned to my home in Australia
feeling like the luckiest person around.
Because I had had the experience and opportunity
to delve right back into my family history.
I knew where I came from.
I stood inside great grandfather's...
..you know, the remnants of his home.
So, it was this moment of, "Oh, my goodness,
"this is where I'm from."
Oh, wow.
Kylie's journey of self-discovery is a central theme of her life.
But the most significant turning point came in her early teens.
When I started to feel all of these different feelings
about who I'd like to be with,
and it wasn't the male species,
I felt very confused.
I felt confronted, I felt...
You know, it was a very lonely time. How old were you?
I was... when I started to feel like that, I was probably 14 or 15.
I couldn't ask for any help during that lonely period
because I didn't even know what was going on inside of me.
I was just this one big, kind of,
you know... ball of feelings and emotions.
And I've always been for... you know, ever since day one,
I've always been a very hypersensitive person
and an emotional person.
Was it difficult to come out to your parents?
Yes, it was difficult.
I was very close to my mother,
we were all much closer to our mother in those early years
because she was a lot more accessible.
She was around, she was there for us,
she was a lot softer.
So, six months before I told Dad, I told my mum.
I used to say to her, "Mum, you know, like, I'm 19
"and I haven't... you know, I haven't met anyone yet.
"You know, how does this all work?" And I was really confused.
And she used to say, "Oh, darling, you know, it's OK.
"You just haven't met the right man."
She used to say that, year in, year out.
Yep.
And I said...
"Mum, how come then I feel like kissing women?"
And I said, "And I don't feel like kissing men."
And she stopped, she stopped in her tracks.
And she's never said to me, "You just haven't met the right man yet."
And that was the beginning of the conversation.
She said, "But, darling, you know,
"I understand why you are attracted to women
"because of the emotional side of you
"and I know that you love to have
"very deep and rich, meaningful conversations.
She said, "But I don't understand the physical side."
And I said, "Mum...
"you don't need to understand the physical side."
I said, "You'll never understand it
"because you don't feel that way inside yourself."
And I said, "It's simple," and I said,
"Just... just, you know, put it this way -
"the way you feel about Dad or the male,"
I said, "I don't understand that exchange."
I said, "Because I just simply don't feel that."
So she and I went on with our close relationship
and then kind of six months later, I came out to Dad.
And that's because I started seeing a woman and it was very evident,
just in my whole being, that I was... I was seeing somebody.
I was "in love."
And you know what you're like when you're in love,
your whole... and, you know, your parents can see it, you know?
They can see it. And I was still living at home.
And one night, we're having dinner. It was a weeknight.
And Dad just, like, lost it. He just snapped.
Because he could sense, he'd been sensing
over the kind of weeks that I was seeing someone.
And he knew it was a woman.
And he knew in his heart of hearts.
So, there was a lot of tension.
When he's like, you know, "Who is this person you're seeing?"
You know, "Da da da da da."
Everyone just froze and I just thought,
"Oh, my goodness, I'm going to have to tell him soon."
So, he came into my room, he said,
"So, darling, are you seeing that woman?"
And I said, "Yes, Dad, I am." I said, "Dad, I'm gay."
I just looked at him and I just told him.
He said, "OK.
"Well, I just want to thank you for your honesty."
I said, "Dad, I respect you.
"During our childhood, you and Mum always bought us up
"to be... to be truthful and honest,
"and you've always said to us, we three kids,
"that you just want us to be happy."
I said, "Dad, this makes me really happy.
"This is just who I am."
And I said, "I'm really, really sorry if I've disappointed you
"or let you down, but I just need to be myself."
He said, "Darling, I just want to say thank you
"for being so honest,"
but he said, "I don't..." He goes, "I just don't understand it
"and... and I don't agree with it."
And he said, "It's Wednesday. I want you out of the house by Saturday."
He said, "From this moment, I disown you as my daughter."
He said that.
He said that sentence.
How did that make you feel? I mean, obviously...
I felt like I literally was going to be the cause
of the family break-up, the family unit break-up,
that close, tight-knit Chinese family.
I was going to be responsible for destroying it.
Huge responsibility and emotions for a 19-year-old.
"I want you out by Saturday"?
That's why Wednesday is very important.
"I want you out by Saturday.
"From this moment, I disown you as my daughter.
"And you know what, when you call home,
"you can speak to your mum and your brothers,
"but I'm not going to speak with you."
Oh, my God. So this was really intense.
Mum comes into my bedroom
and she's sobbing because I'm sobbing.
I mean, I'm a mess.
She held me very tightly
and she said, "Aw, my darling, now you can be free.
"You can be whoever you want to be."
And there's my poor mother,
you know, she was like the meat in the sandwich.
Can you imagine the distress of this poor woman?
So, needless to say, there was no dinner served that night.
Yep.
And it was very, very quiet
for the next two nights in our house.
I'm fast asleep
and I got woken up by these very, very quick, heavy footsteps
coming down my corridor.
And I woke up to this... my father's sobbing face on my pillow.
And his whole kind of energy and demeanour
was of this vulnerable,
a lot kind of smaller presence.
A beautiful presence.
And he's like, "Oh, my darling, I can't do it to you.
"You're my baby, you're my little girl and I love you,
"and I just can't... I just can't. I can't."
And he's like, "Even though I don't understand your way of life,
"I can't throw you out and I love you and I want you to stay."
And I just said, "Dad, I'm so proud of you,
"I'm so inspired by you. You have just..."
What he actually did in that moment was, he was 52,
he dropped 52 years of ego, just like that.
He just dropped it.
He had done this transformation in those two silent nights.
And then he dropped ego and came around.
And then, of course, when he dropped ego,
all of the beautiful emotions arose.
He became human. Wow, wow.
He became human.
And, uh... from that moment onwards,
he and I had this wonderful relationship.
And we were great mates.
And I realised I was a lot like him as I grew up,
you know, bossy, noisy, all that kind of stuff.
Wow.
But it was one of the great lessons in life.
We have to be ourself. Be yourself.
No matter how hard or scared you are
to come out with, you know, what it is to be yourself,
you've got to be yourself.
There is no other way.
Kylie's loving and culture-rich childhood
gave her the best of both worlds.
She thrived on what made her unique
rather than being daunted by her difference.
She continues to challenge convention,
with a strong mind and a genuine individuality.
That's what I'm trying to get into this portrait.
At age 26, Kylie was cooking
at Neil Perry's fine-dining restaurant, Rockpool.
And by the year 2000,
Kylie's ambition and love of her Chinese heritage
saw her open her own restaurant.
Your restaurant, Billy Kwong, very successful.
What's it like to be a successful chef,
one hat, all that sort of stuff?
Because my restaurant's so public,
or, you know, it's a very open kitchen,
the restaurateur or the manager of the night
or the head chef of the night
always has to be in a very good place, energetically -
i.e., we cannot be in a bad mood
because everyone's going to feel it,
the customers, they're going to see it.
They're going to feel the energy, the food will taste bitter.
Wow.
So, yes, there are definitely a lot of challenges
and, of course, I wouldn't have lasted this long
if didn't have that inherent love of food
and nourishing and nurturing people.
That is my way of showing love,
that's the best way I know how to show love.
You need to get the wok very, very hot, it's very important.
Restaurant critics and locals loved it.
Beautiful fresh duck eggs, alright.
But the success of Billy Kwong's took off
when Kylie first appeared in her own cooking show.
If you can hear the sound of that,
you can only imagine what it tastes like in your mouth
in terms of the texture and the crunch and the softness
and the yellowness and the chilliness and the shallots.
By 2003, Kylie had queues down the street
and was feeding more than 700 diners a week,
but still her biggest fan remained her dad.
He was so proud.
He used to come in at 5"30, we'd open at 6 and we'd close at 11.
Between the hours of 6 to 11pm,
he would have made his way to every single table.
"G'day, mate, my name's Mauri Kwong.
"Do you know this is my daughter's restaurant?"
You know, this whole thing.
Yeah, yeah. So proud, hey? Not a shy person.
(LAUGHS) Extroverted.
He was full Cantonese, you know, the whole look - like me.
But the minute he opened his mouth, it was Paul Hogan.
"G'day, mate. How you going?
"You wanna beer? You wanna beer with that?" You know?
But three years later, Kylie's tight-knit family
was rocked by devastating news.
He had had the symptoms of kind of prostate cancer
for many, many months.
But my father - being my father - kind of ignored those symptoms.
It was a really kind of profound moment
when he did actually pass away.
We all got a phone call.
You know, Mum rang us all up
and she said, "The nurses have come in
"and they said he hasn't got long to go.
"You know, probably a few hours."
He waited for all of us to get there
and then he just let go.
I felt so at peace with that because he was ready to go.
He'd said goodbye to all of us, he made sure we were all OK.
So, it was a very touching and profound moment.
Tell me how you met your partner Nell.
Oh, I love Nell. She is so cool.
I just happened to be in this art gallery,
and it was absolutely packed.
It was a exposition opening.
And Nell happened to be there and she introduced herself to me.
She's from the country, she's like, "Hi, I'm Nell.
"How are you? What's your name?" Very open and very forward.
And I guess, in a way, she's a lot like Dad like that.
And then I invited her into my restaurant for dinner.
We had a great conversation. We didn't draw breath.
Talked and talked and talked
for about, you know, five hours straight.
And what I loved about her too was she said,
"Now, I just want to let you know,
"I haven't watched any of your TV shows,
"I haven't got any of your cookbooks.
"I don't really know that much about you
"but all I know is I just want to, you know, be friends.
Yeah.
A week later, after that,
I invited her over to my apartment for dinner
and we had great conversations again
and I guess from that night onwards, that's when we really connected.
Like, there was something, we both knew there was something.
And then pretty much the following week,
she moved in and she's never moved out.
(LAUGHS)
Talk me through you and Nell deciding to have a child.
Yeah. In the first probably month of our relationship,
we were having breakfast.
And we just organically talked about all the big subjects -
you know, birth, marriages, babies, all of that kind of stuff.
I said, "I've always wanted to have a child
"because I come... you know, I'm Chinese, I come from a big family.
"That's what we do. I feel very maternal.
"I feel confident in being a mother.
"I know I would be able to do that and I would love to do that.
"I love babies. I love children."
And we kind of spoke about it further over the next few years
and then we kind of realised
that the most logical and practical thing to do in that kind of area
would be if she held the baby, if she fell pregnant,
because I'm six years older than Nell
and I had a business to run and a career
that took me away a lot, and all that kind of stuff.
And she's a contemporary artist,
and even though she was very busy in her practice,
she probably had more time
and kind of flexibility within her schedule, you may say.
And it took about four years for her to fall pregnant,
because we had a donor.
And that was a whole amazing, incredible process.
So, she was expecting a little boy
and he was due on August 2nd, 2012,
and I can't tell you how overjoyed we were.
She was radiant, she looked so... more beautiful
than she could ever look, and she was so happy.
It was one Friday night, and I cooked an early dinner.
And then, all of a sudden, she got up from the table.
She got up from the table.
I'm like, "What? What's the matter? What's the matter?"
And, anyway, in that moment, her waters broke.
And it was frightening.
So, we got in a taxi and we finally got to the hospital.
Five months early?
And Nell's just completely shaking all over at this stage,
she'd gone into shock.
They said, you know, "Nell and Kylie, we're really sorry,
"but, Nell, you will go into spontaneous labour within 24 hours."
So, we're suddenly going...
It was like being in this really bad car accident
and just hitting... you know, full bore, a brick wall.
Suddenly, our whole life
got thrown into complete anxiety, stress and trauma.
"What are you saying? The baby's going to die?
"But... but, hang on, the baby's not due until August."
Like, there was so much confusion.
That night, I think I cried for 10 hours straight.
I just...
You know...
It was so sad because there I was, lying next to my beloved.
She was so upset and sobbing as well
because she said to me, "I don't understand."
He is so alive yet the preciousness of life is coming out here.
In the end, we felt blessed.
He lived for 6 days. Inside Nell?
Inside Nell, alive.
And then he let go.
But the six days was profound.
During that six days, we asked our amazing friend and spiritual teacher
to come in, her name is Sabana Bazagi.
And she's been in our lives for over 20 or 25 years.
And she is a Zen Buddhist teacher
and also a wonderful kind of counsellor.
And she did this really beautiful spiritual ritual
on Nell's tummy, where we said goodbye to Lucky.
Oh, wow.
We said goodbye to him.
We were present with him.
He's still kicking, he's still hungry, he's still vital.
There's a life force there.
And, you know, Nell's tummy's still big, she's still pregnant.
You know, her breasts were getting ready to feed and all of that.
She is still absolutely pregnant.
So, this incredible ceremony...
And Sabana invited Nell and I to, you know...
"What do you want to say to him?"
And it was so important because we got to be with him.
We got to mother him. We got to say goodbye to him.
What did you say?
I said...
I said, "I really loved feeding you."
Um... I said, "I want you to know
"that your mother is the most amazing person in the world
"and that you are very, very loved."
I said to him, "I want you to know that we have always loved you,
and I promised him that Nell and I would always look after each other.
And it was our spiritual practice of Buddhism
that helped us through that.
Kylie, this thing called life, what do you think it's about?
This thing called life.
Do you know what, I love life.
Since losing Lucky, I mean, the greatest gift
he's given to Nell and I is a deeper understanding
of the preciousness of every single moment.
Look how quickly that situation changed.
Look how quickly. Just go for it.
Make every single moment deep and meaningful.
Have meaningful exchanges.
What an extraordinary chat we've had.
Aw, thank you, thank you.
I just want some of your mum's pho.
(LAUGHS)
I'm going to need a little while longer to make this really nice.
Yes, no problem.
So we're going to take a little break.
OK.
Then I'll bring you back and I'll show you the finished product.
Thank you. Thank you.
That was an amazing experience.
I feel really privileged that I had time
to share all of those stories that are meaningful to me.
I feel really invigorated.
It was a wonderful exchange of energy.
Kylie Kwong is a passionate and innovative culinary master.
With a dedication to spirituality
that has become integral to how she approaches life.
That same force has helped her navigate herself and her family
through difficult times.
But what I really got from Kylie is an inner joy
that I want to portray.
Time to find out what she thinks.
Right, Kylie. I'm all done. Thank you.
Oh, I'm... I'm really grateful
that you've been so open and you shared so much with us today.
You've had ups and downs in life,
but despite all of that, Kylie, you've still got a happiness
that just... just comes through, you know?
Thank you so much.
I'll never ever forget it
and of course I was able to open up because you have created
such a beautiful, comfortable space for me to do that.
My pleasure, my pleasure.
I need you now to close your eyes, Kylie.
OK. Close your eyes and keep them closed.
Yes.
I reckon I've made you look even younger again.
Oh, I'd love it. I love it.
I hope you've removed the grey hairs.
(LAUGHS)
OK, Kylie, go for it.
Oh, my gosh, the beauty spot. (LAUGHS) Yeah.
That's amazing, thank you so much.
I've gotta have the beauty spot in there.
That's incredible. I love it.
I especially like the hair in front of the ear.
Yeah, well, you know...
You've got the lips pretty down pat. Amazing.
Thank you.
You know, my mum's got a beauty spot on one side,
Aunty Connie's got one there, and my brother's got one.
So, you've got the family DNA in the portrait.
Amazing. Thank you. Pleasure.
I love. I really love it.
I will cherish it. Thank you. You got somewhere for it, yeah?
I have, I have. Thank you.
Thank you so much, Kylie. Thanks for coming on the show.
I love the portrait, it's scarily like me.
I do look a lot younger, so I like that part.
Kylie Kwong takes the best
of what her Australian-Chinese background gives her,
stirs it up and gives us something new and refreshing.
It was an honour to hear her story.
Next time, David Wenham -
reluctant heart-throb to Hollywood A-lister.
I said to my eldest daughter, "Well, you want to go
"and we can show you this particular scene?"
She said, "What is this?" I said, "It's from this movie.
"It's very funny. You'll like it."
She said, "Oh, Dad, do we have to?
"I really want to go and do some maths homework."
(LAUGHS)
My challenge is to capture his chameleon-like qualities
and put them on the canvas.
Oh, my God.